Maths Paper Two was really okay. It was the easiest among the four paper's that had number's and calculation... And then when I did question 8... I was silently laughing, why? Because the moment I saw the question I knew who set the paper... Mr. Chong, the question was a small joke for the Secondary 3 Badminton Player's... Haha!!! Just so happens that 3 of our team mate's are in that question about buying the same car and stuff... Haha!!! I fell asleep during the math's paper... I was so tired... I had not been getting enough sleep... My momma is having a silent war with me... For what reason I have no idea... But I'm being treated like I have never existed in the Family... And she just continues talking to my sister and stuff even though I said "I'm Home" though I know even though I say that for the past year's of my life and only one person would response, and even though she's not with me anymore, I still say the same thing. I don't have to say it... But I still say it... It's always that they are home and no one looks up when I come home... Or I come home and say it to the empty house, which with or without them would always still look the same to me... Empty... I've been thinking a lot... Then I remembered a Friend owed me some favours... I realised now that I know what to use them on. Though now not really the right time yet. But I will use it when I think it's time to use it.
I asked my tuition teacher something today, It was painful to listen to it, but I did... Because as I listened my heart started to hurt... a lot... Thanks to all who have been cheering me up. Especially Danna and Gemini. And yes I will beat you in your exams Danna. In some subjects, I won't let you down. Gemini I promise to not do that again, but no promise for my plans on doing 12 hours of physical training this Friday, and no promise for not over-doing it... You know that when I do physical training I lose my sense of time and just continue... If I beg you to not do that again, will you listen? Because it really hurts to know what happened... It hurts a lot... I had nightmares about it... It was really really really painful, scary and it hurts me a lot... And I woke up in the middle of the night and then continue doing workouts until I fall asleep again... It hurts a lot... A lot... And I don't know what to do... And I start thinking... It's my fault... It's getting harder to fake smiles... Much harder... I trry but fail, and break down in tears...
"Sleepless night's...
Never ending nightmares...
crying to sleep...
Where's the sleeping pill's... Or get me something to make the pain disappear...
Hurts to even think some possibility...
I love you."
I Don't Want Just Anyone's Hug.♥ 3:12 AM.
