"Of all the seasons god could give me
He chose to give me winter"
I Don't Want Just Anyone's Hug.♥ 12:15 AM.
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Friday, May 22, 2009 at 12:15 AM
What for do you sleep when you know that you will end up having terrible nightmares, what for do you say "I'm home" when you know there's no one there to ever greet you or ask you how's your day, what for do you try to be happy when you know you are not, what for do you try to please your parents when you know they are not going to bother. It's been going on like this for quite some time, my momma is not talking to me at all, I've been trying to get myself distracted so I won't bother. But I just can't anymore, I totally snapped. I was ranting away, blaming myself for even being here and stuff... Go on... Continue showing me how happy the family is without me... When I'm sick, sleeping on the bed, you had to go to Francine's room and play with her, making me hear that you are having great fun. It had always been like this right? She dines with you, while I sit in a corner eating my dinner. And so many others... If you really want to show me how happy you all are without me, I actually get the message. I do. From a long time ago, I got the message, you don't have to show me what you mean, you don't have to spell it all out. I get it. A pigeon was flying today. And then soon after it go hit by the train. If fell to the ground from quite a great height. I was with Victoria and some random juniors from my school... We tried to do something. No one bothered to help us to help the pigeon. It was bleeding at the back, 10 minutes later it started coughing, it seemed red stones to me at first... But then I realized it was coughing blood... It went crazy... I saw the whole thing... It was in so much pain, the internal organs must be badly damaged... After 5 minutes of struggling, to me that 5 minutes was a nightmare... Seeing every single detail of what it's going through... Lots of blood... It then slumped to the ground, wings wide open and thud... Still struggling, and soon after it died... It was a horrible sight... Very very horrible sight... It looked okay to me a few minutes back. But it was all so sudden, just like when someone died of a heat stroke... Or by poisoning... It was so sudden... Many thoughts floating around. I can't stop to count. I'm in a mess right now... There is a solution for all the problems, but it's not one bit great at all... Anyway, those in Switzerland, come back soon and good luck for all your mid-term papers. I love you all, I love you Kea. "Of all the seasons god could give me He chose to give me winter"
To You I'd Be Always Faithful.♥ 12:15 AM.
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