It's rather sad how half my relatives can still celebrate the New Year. I started skipping the greetings on the third day. All the tears shed last year were forgotten? Red, my dear cousin. I'm so sorry. I knew how you felt about me last time, yet I still chose to ignore you. Even so, you never stopped doting me. All the times I must have hurt you. I should have realized where this was going. As I sat on the car, I remembered all the times you tried to love me. All those time I turned away from you, all those times you stayed up late just to entertain me, how you used to take care of me when I fell sick. Only till now, that I'm able to tell you how sorry I am. Only when things have change, that I noticed how much you've changed. I can't stand it. When I look at you now, I see things that is just not you. You've lost so much weight. Now when you are with me, you are always doing more homework. Somehow it seems that you are trying to drown all your saddness into keeping yourself busy. It's her. I know. The pain from losing her seems to be eating you from the inside. I don't know. Even we can see that you've changed from last year. I guess the pain of losing her is eating into your momma too. But I just want to say, that I'm sorry. Sorry for the times I've hurt you countlessly. The times when you did all that you can for me. And I'm sorry that I can't face you without blaming myself. I can never feel the same way for you.
As the past starts to catch up,
we start to drown.
And Kea, Happy Belated Valentine's. Je T'aime. And I'm sorry. I'm just sorry.
I Don't Want Just Anyone's Hug.♥ 6:00 AM.
