I Don't Want Just Anyone's Hug.♥ 7:17 PM.
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Friday, January 2, 2009 at 7:17 PM
I have so much to say to him... Just that the words would come out wrong... I really have so much to tell him... One day would not be enough... I bet even if he gave me all his time that still would not be enough... Even if he gave me his time some words just can't be said... I always never taken words so important it's action that I thought was more important... I never knew that both would be so important... I wish I could just turn back the clock a few days... I'm an idiot... So self-centred... Come on Danna... Insult me all you want... Do your best... I did wrong... Took him for granted... Now that I don't know how to contact him I just feel like crying... I did not dare to sleep yesterday... I wanted time to stop... Never did I know that actually he was there always there to hear me whine to hear my problems to hear my troubles... Pain and thoughts... Just that one mistake I turned the tables... If only I look carefully... Observe and stuff... I work yesterday... I swing my racket practicing my strokes did sit-ups and some push-ups... Then I did some swinging thing about close to a thousand and spend the rest of my energy listening to this musical box that you have to turn it manually and then finally fell asleep... I must be crazy... But its the only way to keep me busy... When I was listening to the lullaby "over the rainbow" I just kept thinking... What's he doing now?... ... Is he smiling?... Sometimes you might lose things or someone of importance if you are just not observing carefully... I regretted not paying much attention... How I wished I found out before it was too late... When I heard it... Almost some part of my brain just disconnected... Maybe my brain was not even connected in the first place... In that case then I felt like part of me just drifted apart... It's only been like this so recently and I'm missing his company already... The best person I know for insulting me and scolding me is Danna... I can't think of anyone else... Hey I made a mistake so scold or insult me already... I regreted really... I should have just spend more time with him... On the Internet after my mom sleeps and just talk to him... Keep him company... Idiot me... Self-centred person... Open your eyes alittle won't you?!... Sometimes the person you think you like might just be for the time being... The person closest to you might be the real one... I'm just so angry at myself... How can I be so self-centred... Life is a game... But only when you realized how real it is then you would regret and want to start again... Yeah I really want to start again... How can I be so mindless... I don't care how much it takes just to talk to him... I'll try... Tag my blog... Anything... I just want to hear from you... I guess the person should know who he is... Hope that he is well... Those who want to spam or scold me can do it on my blog or meet up face to face... As for one insults and scoldings I would really welcome is from my Danna... I'm sorry... Really... I finally understand the meaning of " Hearts are often broken when Words are often unspoken..."
To You I'd Be Always Faithful.♥ 7:17 PM.
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