How fake is that... Do you mean I'll get something when I lose something? Fine okay... I walk in to a convenience stall give them a ticket that entitles me to things because I lose something... Then I ask "What do I gain?" and the sales person tell me "You can choose anything" then i'll tell her I want Christie back and she said it's not possible... Yeah... If losing is the only way I can gain then I would rather not gain and not to lose... Let time stop and allow me to appreciate her... Even if you give me things that would tempt me I would still choose her... Even if you ask me to choose between my loved one and my best friend I would still choose her... Oh well... Christie... The first time I met her was in a railway train station... She was the first person I saw when I came out then I knew her as everyone's "idol"... The first time I actually talk to her was actually in a restaurant... She was saying I was picky when it comes to food and she was pouring drinks for almost everyone... Then on we kept talking to each other... Even though I know almost everyone idolise her... And some might to the extend hate me being to close with her I still continue to be her friend because she did the same too... Heh heh I remembered something... She hates to not understand what I am saying because when ever I talk in English she would frown and ask me to talk in Chinese heh heh... Well... Yup... I miss her so much but all I can do is keep her in my mind and hope she is well... And yeah... I'm taking a break... Not running away but I'm finally listening to Gemini for me to take a break from all my worries and talks... Where you say? Well... I would be going to the least place would be wanting to go... Back to where everyhing started... Back to the House Hold... Yup... I'm attending this years Renuion Dinner... Which was compulsory but yeah I've been skipping it so yeah... Shocked?... Well it is the only place I'm left with so that's why... When was the last time the old head of the house hold was ever proud of me?... Will you always be proud of me?... That's what you always say to me when I was your precious... You said whatever happens you would always be proud of me no matter what kind of person I would turn out to be... Are you still watching over me and smiling the kind smile on your kind face?... Are you proud of me for attending this year's dinner? You were the last and only one who was ever proud of me... When you died I never heard anyone saying they were proud of me... I miss you too you know... On your funeral... Please forgive me... I was still young so I don't understand... Only when I would really makemyou proud you were already gone... Will you always be proud of me like what you said? You always put your hopes on me... Have I made you disappointed? Have I? Maybe I had but you would always cover for my mistakes and smile saying you were proud of me... What puzzle me most is that why did you want to put your hopes on me?... I have other much more smarter and talented cousins... Why me?...
You could see that they would grow up to make you proud... Unlike me... My ambition and stuff would not make you proud but why me?... You were always somewhere in my precious memory... You were like the only one who was proud of me in the house hold and the only one who put their hopes on me... It was always my cousins or my sister... Well are you proud of me? If you were still around I would always look forward to the dinner with you and I would never be afraid of telling you my problems... You were always a great listener... But yeah... I'm going back this year to rest... Like how a bird acts... When it soars in the skies and get hurts the last place where it would go is home to it's nest but yeah...
I Don't Want Just Anyone's Hug.♥ 8:07 PM.
