you chose to brought this up..."
Hey it makes everything so crystal clear now... I totally understand... Why I don't get that kind of parental love... That kind that makes a kid smile... And yeah... I totally linked it... I've been trying so hard to actually make you two proud... All these years... Just to get a tiny bit of what Francine gets from you both... Yes okay I'm sorry... My subject teacher went to call you both because of one or two homework not handing up and the teacher thought I skip remedial... Sorry I don't understand a thing, because I was excused from this class because of the Sheng yang thing, performance, and recently East Zone Badminton Tournament. I'm sorry I can't catch up... The teacher never gave me the worksheets when i was excused and always when I ask she says wait and forgets... Until today... The remedial was because I had a tournament and I was excused. I'm sorry I can't catch up... I've been missing alot because of the tournaments... I wanted to ask the teacher to explain it to you both but she said that I should go back and have a nice talk with the both of you. Which I know is impossible. I tried but one sentence totally threw me off... And I kept quiet on the verge of crying... Just as I thought and after so many years of trying to decieve myself and tell myself... Hey look... I'm normal like you people... I don't need special attention and stuff... You just had to mention my illness and crashed me into little bits and pieces... All that drugs that I eaten since I was even before kindergarten... Eating just to sustain me... Yeah... You reminded me that I'm on medication because of this... Even though every morning I eat it... I don't think too much about it... I was so close to being normal... So close... And you brought it up... Yes I know the drugs cost you both... Not only that but my fee seeing the doctor is more then 600 plus... And the drugs and stuff... My fee for my asthma and back and stuff is also costing you... I also have one more which I never told the both of you... It would only cost you both... I'm sorry... I never wanted to be born with this kind of things... I too want to be normal... Yeah... A child like me would only cost you... Why did you have to take me?... And on the other hand francine is so perfect... She's normal. She's healthy, she's cute, apple in everyones eyes... Sociable and so much more better... -sigh- I wish I could be like her too... A friend told me she wanted to pinche if I do something stupid again... And on the bus to the tournament I was thinking... Hey you know what... I'll be glad to be your punch bag... Might as well kill me don't you think?... My existence is of no use...
I Don't Want Just Anyone's Hug.♥ 2:18 AM.
