I Don't Want Just Anyone's Hug.♥ 1:26 AM.
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Wednesday, March 11, 2009 at 1:26 AM
... Aimless again.. Once again I'm walking aimlessly... I'm walking alone again... Walking again aimlessly... Heh... And so... I'm trashed again am I not?... Dropped... Like a soft toy... ... Giving up slowly... The grip slowly loosens... I'm giving up slowly... Try throwing a doll on the floor... Hits the ground and crash... No point of living... Nothing to look forward... I know... There's no point... As long as I'm angry at myself it's not going to change a thing... Not a single thing... Being trashed not doing a single thing... Just like falling and not even bothering to catch hold of something to ease your fall... Just wanting to get the full impact... And so... Life is lifeless now... In a few more days I'm gonna get trashed again because I can't do a thing... And it's gonna leave another mark again... And I cant do anything... Blending in with others... Trying to seem normal... But I know I can't... Though I hated crowded places... I'm gonna blend in... Slowly all this doubt and insecurity would rise... Guilt too...And so after yesterday... when it struck 11:30 p.m. I slowly release my jaw... and soon after fell asleep because of what I did today and was doing earlier... And so I woke up late today... I was late for school... Realised that there was no training today... Placed my racket in that zoo cage... made sure the lock was lock properly... Because I would be held responsible if any rackets or badminton equipment go missing... Have training tomorrow at 9 in the morning... Counting down with a chopper to finally tire myself out and fall to deep sleep so I would not think or anything tomorrow night... And so it's been already more then 2 months... And I have to react fast... I don't want what Danna has been trying to do to help me to go down the drain... This world is hell... Recently I was ask about my childhood... I'm sorry... I don't have one... I'm sorry... And I know I should have Blogged about this earlier and ask some people stuff but I'm sorry... There's quite alot happening... Was sent to Mrs Koh today... Ah... And got back those murderous slips of paper... I looked at it and just chucked it away... Mrs Koh saw it and said "Hey look your science is not bad..." I did not bother the first thing i saw was those murderous marks that I did not even saw my combine science marks... When she told me how much I scored I was thinking... "Are you sure?"... I'm sorry I only looked at those murderous marks... I did badly... ... Ah... Okay now... Big Brother... Thank you for your Valentine's Day present... It was very nice... I gave yours late too so I'm sorry... It's very nice... Shiny too... It must have cost you alot x.x... But Yes I really liked it... I don't mind what you get for me and will still like it... And you letter... Its nice... Thank you very much... It's really nice... Don't worry about your hand writing its fine... And I'm happy you liked the monkey... Will reply to your letter... Yup... Thanks again big brother...
To You I'd Be Always Faithful.♥ 1:26 AM.
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