"I can never run away to some where far off
No one can run away from Reality...
Will all my nightmare's really come true? I'm not sure...
I don't want it to happen"
I Don't Want Just Anyone's Hug.♥ 9:52 PM.
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Saturday, May 2, 2009 at 9:52 PM
And it goes like this... "Haha YOU LOSE you little girl". Yeah I know.. I'm always losing right?... And then I see "it" jumping about after gaining it's victory... Slowly I feel that I'm breaking apart again... It's painful to feel it again... Every part of me breaking again... Those nightmare's are messing with my head... I seriously don't get it... Did I do something wrong again? And everything goes round and round and round, it makes it hard to breath actually, with this kind of weather and the things that is bothering me, it makes it even harder to do so, I don't know there the people who are there for me, jokes about it, But here I am... Questioning myself about the things they joke about, even though I laugh along with them, I ask myself if it's true. I don't know... Just a year back people questioned me why I was always being to kind, letting myself being toyed around. And then there again another thing bothers me... Two weeks... Two weeks... It's already two weeks that pass... Why do you let every Sunday of this two weeks kill you? There again... I encountered another thing yesterday... I saw a piece of cut out newspaper from the memorials dated 6 years back... Death of my Great Grand Mother... Somehow... Her picture brought back many many memories... I did something stupid... I counted my cousins... I have 43 cousins in my mother's side... But even so, I knew I did that to get me distracted... Just because I don't say my thoughts aloud, I know exactly what's bothering me... With those people telling me... That I'm just plain thinking too much... Really I just can't help it... I'm so sorry... And the exams are here... I know Kea is REALLY CONCERNED about my studies... and he's EXPECTING to see my results... And Danna who wants me to pass English, Kim who wants to see improvement in my Mathematics... And stuff... And my parents who expects me to ace all... With every single day that passes... I feel more unease... I don't know why... I've been sleeping a lot... A lot... I'm getting lethargic... Yeah... I tell myself hey look at the brighter side... 4 more day's... Yeah... "I can never run away to some where far off No one can run away from Reality... Will all my nightmare's really come true? I'm not sure... I don't want it to happen"
To You I'd Be Always Faithful.♥ 9:52 PM.
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