Yet, sometimes it feels wrong. Somehow.
But everything goes wrong when I'm not with you.
And here I am.
Watching everything go wrong.
Holding on to things,
memories and stuff
keeping myself busy.
Living in Denial...
Save me... Please.
"When will it be your turn?"
"For?"
"When I can see you truly smile again..." and I replied to my friend. Not at the moment.
Denial. It's saddening to feel like just letting everything go by and giving up. Not being able to pay attention to your surroundings at all. Or what so ever the lecturer is trying to teach. The laughter you here in the school corridors seem so. Perfect. Yet, you just feel alone. Even with friends around you, you feel like being left alone. Because, you know somethings wrong. Yet, you don't want to know. It's quite saddening to only remember your sadness only when seeing your friends sad. Because you know that you have been pushing everything that is troubling you at the back of your mind. Friends are more important. It's always been that way for you. And you don't want to feel the sadness. So you leave yourself dangling and save your friend. And yet you try your best to hide all the sadness, when you know others will ask "are you okay?" and then you lie, saying you are. And being ask by your brother "what are your feelings?" and you tell him that you don't know. Because frankly speaking, you don't know the answer. It's saddening, when you just think about it. Regretting many things. Even sadder when some one ask you "Whats wrong?" and you tell them, everything is. And the person ask you what? And you slowly tell her, being very careful not to mention that very name that just hurts to hear. Being very careful to mention everyone's name and problems, and not that particular name and your own problems. Even when she prompts, you sway the subject. And later when she's distracted, start hurting all over again. And when they all gone. You silently cry. It hurts, so badly. Like holding a rose, with lots of thorns, yet you don't want to let go of that rose... Neither do you want the rose to ever leave you... The greatest present would be the rose itself...
I Don't Want Just Anyone's Hug.♥ 12:20 AM.
